2021: Year in Rearview
Thanks for showing up. This is a long post. I won’t be offended if you skim, or do a couple months and come back later, or just do the picture/captions. If anyone knows how to make the captions look like captions, please let me know.
Jan-March
As I was ringing in 2021 with my partner, Jen, and our friend Bryce, much of the momentum that would define the year was already in place. We were in the throes of the first Covid winter, with promising vaccines in clinical trials but still thought to be several months out. Jen and I had settled on leaving San Jose and going on a nomadic journey; we were about to give notice to our landlord on the 2nd day of the year. I knew the work team I would eventually join was expanding, and was mentally preparing for a job transition. And since May, I had been battling a calf injury that kept me from running often, but I was itching to get back to regularity.
The first of those 4 dams broke when my high school teammate messaged me out of the blue in late Jan with the best unsolicited advice I’d ever gotten. He had seen my posts on Strava that included comments complaining of my constant injury and metadata about my pace, and gently nudged me to slow down. I took his advice, which led to 2021 being a year in which running became a steady rock for me amid constant change, enabling me to use running as a means to relieve stress, explore, socialize, and feel a sense of improvement and accomplishment.
Meanwhile, in January and February, as we began to prepare for our departure, I continued to volunteer with community organizations I discovered during the BLM protests the previous summer and spent more time with as the protests themselves petered out. We also went to rallies for the Asian population in the Bay Area as they found their voice to fight back against a wave a racist violence. While I didn’t involve myself enough to make solid friendships, I knew the social justice, and direct action communities would be a good place to find friends and meaning wherever we ended up. The threads of BLM, these involvements, and my time volunteering for a city council campaign in late 2020 linked with much of my reading in 2021 to lead me to focus my thoughts more on local politics.
February also saw a major step in one of 2021’s themes: I interviewed for the PM role in the Compass team at Nielsen. I was denied the role and offered a better fitting role I didn’t previously know existed in the same call. Unfortunately, with the nature of internal transfers, I couldn’t start the role until my current role found backfill, who herself was an internal transfer who had to wait until current projects were finished. February also saw the excitement of our last time getting to play host for a long time, as my mother and grandmother came to visit.
March was an emotional prelude to the rest of the year: a bittersweet mix of planning and packing, saying goodbye, and trying to squeeze the most out of our limited time. Adding to the anticipation of travel was the news that vaccine rollout was going faster than expected, allowing us to book both shots for ourselves in our 1st and 5th weeks in Cedar City. It felt like saying goodbye to the Bay Area was also saying goodbye to Covid. My most memorable moments of that time were learning that – ironically – a yard sale is a great way to meet your neighbors; having a final goodbye dinner with the friends that had gotten us through the pandemic: Angie & Spencer, Drew & Lacey, Katie & Andrew, and separately, Deb & Harry; trying to function in our daily lives as we gradually sold our furniture, culminating in our final night in SJ spent on our bedroom floor in sleeping bags.
April
The morning of April Fool’s Day, 2021 was the first of many spent stressing over packing every square inch of my Kia Forte, nabbing Simba, our cat, and starting an all day drive to our next destination. We had settled on Cedar City, UT, as a middle ground of proximity to rural national parks and the availability of AirBnbs, high-speed internet, restaurants, and groceries associated with more urban areas. We got a one-bedroom basement apartment two blocks from the center of town, meaning we could walk to get groceries and patronize the few restaurants in town, but also run the other direction for a mile and be in scenery that would be a state park anywhere else.
But the local scenery was overshadowed with the parks we filled our weekends with. We made two trips to Zion, the first of which was with a Denison teammate who made the 5 hour drive from Logan to see us (thanks Jack!) and involved our first backcountry camping experience. The second trip, a day trip, involved a planned hike of around 9 miles that started at the same trailhead as the famed Angel’s Landing. When we came to the end of the hike, however, we saw that the trail to Angel’s Landing was nearly empty, as the final shuttle from the trailhead was scheduled with just enough time to finish the trail – no room for error. We took our chances and got an incredible experience and views without the typical crowds (which we traded for the stress of not knowing if we’d make the shuttle). The following weekend was Bryce Canyon NP, which isn’t as big as Zion but beats it in my book for a day or weekend trip. We got to see Cincy friends Cindy and Mark in Bryce: one of the rare times in which social media created a net positive social encounter. Our final exhilarating weekend was spent a 3.5 hour drive away in Grand-Staircase Escalante, a true backcountry experience that included hoodoos, delicious 3-day-old egg and avocado sandwiches, slot canyons, roads not meant for my Kia Forte, and the Golden Cathedral of desktop background fame.
The weekends were lovely, and in the evenings Jen and I fell into a symbiotic rhythm of planning weekend trips, with her finding amazing hikes based on pictures and reviews, and me handling the logistics of how to get to each one and built a weekend trip out of each component. However, the work days were a struggle. As the Delta variant ravaged India, one of my teammates had to take extended leave as he recovered from Covid while caring for and then grieving for both parents. It was hard to understand what to make of the news and situation, hearing about my friend’s life upended by oxygen shortages while I already had a vaccine already in my system, going about as I pleased. I love the global nature of my work, and the first 12 months of the pandemic seemed to create something of a common experience for coworkers across the world, but the ongoing vaccine disparity of 2021 quickly reversed that common ground. I worked long days covering for the short-staffed team in April, a small penance to assuage the guilt I felt.
May
We kicked off May with two doubles: a second Moderna shot each and then back-to-back 12 hour days on the road. On the way back to Indianapolis to see my family, we grabbed lunch in Denver with my high school friend Tommy, overnighted in Colby, KS, and then got lunch with my Denison friend Corbin in St. Louis. We remarked several times that while Jen has robust groups of friends in both Cincinnati and New York, I seem to have a friend or family member or two just about everywhere.
It was great to be home, but I feel bad about how little I was physically and mentally present at home during that time. May was a first lesson in biting off more than we could really chew for a month-long stay, a theme that we did and will continue to grapple with as we learn to travel without the classic travel mindset. After arriving in Indy on Monday the 10th, we spent our first weekend in the midwest in Chicago, visiting several Denison friends there. After another 4-day work week back in Indy, we spent the following week in Cincinnati for the wedding of our friends Jay & Aanchal, and to stay with and visit other friends. We spent our final midwest weekend with my family in Zionsville.
June-July
We spent June and July visiting Jen’s family in New Jersey. She hadn’t seen them since 2019, so they were eager to spend plenty of quality time with us. Jen taught me a few phrases in Cantonese, the language spoken in their home, and I found I could copy the pronunciation well enough to win favor rather easily by repeating these phrases, especially the one complimenting their cooking. However, I don’t look back too fondly on June because in my very first month in my new role (after the internal transfer finally went through), I had to deliver a project that was dramatically oversold with little notice, leading to a stressful month of long hours and occasional calls during the China and Australia work day. Despite the long days, I usually found time to run, and enjoyed being in a peaceful residential area I could explore.
The end of June and beginning of July brought a break from work, and I took the opportunity to visit my sister Molly in Boston on the way to the Lu family 4th of July trip in Maine. I toured Boston with Molly in between her PT clinic shifts, and got to catch up with a few old Denison teammates for a couple runs. In Maine with the Lus, I also caught a ferry ride with a high school xc teammate, Nick. I guess I do have friends everywhere!
After returning from Maine, we had the opportunity to house and dog sit in a beautiful brownstone in Brooklyn, so we jumped at the chance to explore NYC and have our own space again. Simba had been staying with Jen’s sister Maggie in NJ, and she was nice enough to continue to watch over her for the two months we were in the tri-state area. After just 4 months of nomading, we got to round out our rural Utah, suburban Indiana, and exurban Jersey experiences with a taste of big city life!
August
After two months in Jersey, it was time to move on to our next destination. By now, 4 months into our travels, some of my family had heard we were mobile and asked us to come pet sit for them while they were away. The first opportunity was with my Aunt Susie and Uncle Tim in Holden Beach, NC. On the way there from Jersey, we stopped in DC to visit Jen’s friends Sanam and Dylan, and I got a run in with Sam, the HS teammate whose advice got me back into running.
Unfortunately, my Aunt and Uncle’s trip abroad had been canceled due to Covid restrictions and they remained home, but they still welcomed us to stay with them as planned, and it was great being with them for a few weeks! Like the rest of the year, it was a stressful time at work for Jen and me, but my Aunt and Uncle are excellent cooks and excellent company, so we learned how dinner with good food and conversation can be an oasis in an otherwise stressful day. It wasn’t all work though: we had relaxing morning walks on the beach, boating adventures in the intracoastal waterway, and I got to take the stand-up-paddle board out in the ocean and grapple with staying afloat amidst the waves.
I got to meet 4 very special people for the first time while in Holden, 2 each on opposite ends of their lives. I finally got to meet my little cousins (once removed), Sage and Avery, who belong to my cousin Zach, Susie and Tim’s son, and his wife Jordan. It was incredibly refreshing to play with a 4 and a 1 year old; I highly recommend becoming acquainted with toddlers with whom you can get all the upside (playing) without the downside (feeding, changing diapers, comforting during tantrums, etc.). I also got to meet an incredibly kind couple named Bonice and Jake in their home just over the border in South Carolina. Jen and Maggie had actually lived in northern SC, a 2 hour drive from Holden, for about 18 months as children, and Bonice and Jake had been and remained an important and influential part of their lives. Jen and Maggie hadn’t seen their heroes in over a decade, so it was a joyous and tear filled reunion as they made good on their childhood promise of driving up to their house one day. It was a miracle that we were staying close enough to Bonice and Jake to make this long awaited reunion possible when it did, as we were devastated to hear from Jake’s son that both succumbed to Covid about a month later.
The last week we had in Holden, I took off work. I planned on taking off since my parents were going to come visit, and decided to keep it even when an injury kept them from coming. Unfortunately, I found myself unable to get out of the stressful mindset I had gotten myself into around work. I slept in, but still woke feeling guilty for some reason. I took the paddleboard out into the ocean, one of the funnest things I’ve ever done, but still felt like the day was wasted. I meant to get a bunch of items off my personal to-do list, including finally buying myself a personal PC, but opening my work PC each day, even without checking email, still brought back feelings of being overwhelmed by all I had to do, personally and at work, and I ironically got little done. I’m honestly still not sure what lesson to take out of this experience, other than that I still need a personal laptop, and maybe a new mindset towards work and/or to-do lists as well. In conversations I’d have later, we’d differentiate between trips and vacations, and how it’s good to unwind with a classic R&R vacation every now and then, instead of treating any time off or travel as a “trip” to be filled with fun new experiences. Maybe I still had a trip mindset in a vacation spot. What’s for certain is that I learned the solution to work burnout includes more time off, but it isn’t a silver bullet.
August still ended on a high note. We made our 13 hour drive back to Indy a 2 day journey with an overnight in Charlotte so we could visit my cousin in Lexington, NC. We got a private tour of the brewery where he is brewmaster, where we nerded out with him and peppered him with endless questions about the science and the business as we sipped the delicious beer he brewed.
September
September saw our second house/pet sit for family, a 3 week stay at my grandmother’s house in Indianapolis to watch her two year-old miniature pumas while she explored the Dakotas. It was great to have our own space for the first time (minus the brief Brooklyn stay) since April, and to be so close to my favorite place to run, Eagle Creek Park.
After a week in Indy, we spent a long weekend in Cincinnati for the wedding of our friends Elle & Sascha (we got someone else to briefly watch the 3 cats, of course). It was great to see old friends in a city we loved, and in less rushed circumstances than in May. Like in May, we also spent a weekend in Chicago visiting Denison friends, this time for my friend Oliver’s birthday. It was a great mix of old and new friends, as we got to meet folks Oliver had befriended since we last hung out. Despite our travels, we had seldom met new people for an extended period, so it was nice getting to tell our travel story to new friends. It’s a little vain, but one of the nice parts about the lifestyle is that most people seem to find it interesting!
Unfortunately, most of our memories of life in September in Indy are stress from work. Jen was in the process of leaving her role at Roku and, never one to disappoint or inconvenience others, was trying to fit in all the work she would have completed in the rest of the year into her final 3 weeks. I had volunteered to oversee the application of an interesting new analysis to a batch of new data, and numerous miscommunications and data quality issues turned a month I should have spent getting farther ahead in other work areas into a treadmill of redoing and re-redoing tedious data entry tasks.
Our travels had already radicalized us to some extent against the typical 9-5+ scheme, as exploring new places on “work-ations” made the opportunity cost of every hour of work even clearer, but being pushed yet again into regularly working before breakfast and past dinner made us feel like entire weeks of our lives were being fully wasted: worse, it would take even more time in the future to return our physical and mental health to baseline. I couldn’t see a light at the end of the stress tunnel, and increasingly thought I’d need to bore my own tunnel exit, whether in my current role through a mix of shaking up my mental state and my work habits, or by figuring out what else I might want to do with my life. Both of those options seemed almost impossibly hard, and the existence of the other made me question how much work it was worth putting into either one.
October
At the end of September, my Nana came back from her trip and Jen and I (and the always begrudging cat) transitioned back to my parents’ guest bedroom. We extended our stay in the Indy area past the housesit to spend a bit more time with family and to attend the wedding of my high school friends, Claire & Jon.
Unfortunately, our stay was unexpectedly extended an extra week or so when Jen came down with a serious kidney stone. She was a trooper those couple of weeks: socializing with my friends while often in pain and braving the unfamiliar roundabouts of Indy’s northern suburbs as she drove herself to doctor appointments. I wasn’t upset at all to have an extra week with my parents and running as much of Zionsville as I could, but I know Jen was itching to revert to some level of “normal.”
In the melee of visiting family in May-July, we had neglected to decide on and book our next destination, and when we searched in August, we learned the hard way that the best AirBnbs get booked out months in advance. Luckily, my aunt and uncle in Holden also had a place in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina that they were willing to rent to us while we figured out our next steps. So once Jen felt better, we once again packed the car up for a trip, excited to once again have our own place and get in some hikes, to Foscoe, NC, near Boone.
Back in 2020 in SJ, I had been introduced to the running “completionist” movement that sought to run every part of a given area. I had been using a site called CityStrides since then, which motivated me to run by allowing me to make measurable progress toward my goals with each run, and had the added benefit of getting me to explore. I hit 50% of Zionsville streets before heading to Foscoe! However, I found that it didn’t count the rural roads I was on in unincorporated Foscoe, so I switched sites to Wandrer.earth, which counts unique miles instead of streets, and has invigorated my obsessions with running, exploring, and maps.
In and around Foscoe, I challenged myself with steep and exciting mountain runs, had a relative easy period at work, and planned out the first few months of 2022 with Jen. We got there just in time to see the end of the fall colors, and I was tremendously thankful to have a job with flexible hours that allowed me to slip out for runs and walks and hikes in between meetings. We were also spoiled with the amount of space available to us, having gotten used to one of us squeezing a desk into whatever corner was available while the other set up at the kitchen table and disassembled for each meal. Despite Jen still not feeling 100%, we remember this time fondly.
November
With the benefit of a few flexible weeks in the Blue Ridge mountains to plan through, Jen and I booked an AirBnb in our next destination to close out the year. We were planning on going back to Indiana for Christmas, so anywhere on the Eastern seaboard was in bounds for being “on the way,” and we had heard great things about this city from friends who visited. A week or so into November, we made by far the shortest of our treks to the next destination: 3 hours to Asheville, NC.
Naturally, we couldn’t have a “normal” 6 weeks there: Jen was away about half the time on a work trip that led into an appointment and wedding back in Jersey. We got in a nice week of settling in, walking around, and hiking, and then I was suddenly alone for the first time in a long time. My solitude wasn’t complete though: I impressed myself by being fairly social. I found a local running group on the Meetup app and made friends there, one of whom connected me to a tech workers networking event the next evening. It felt great to be social once again, making new friends who found my story and lifestyle interesting. The solitude also wasn’t long lasting: after four days, my parents made the trip down to see me for a long weekend, followed by returning to Foscoe for Thanksgiving with the Gibbles, and then Oliver visiting for a week!
I had a blast playing host for my parents and then Oliver, eventually learning the 24-stop downtown history walk by heart. I went on great hikes with my parents, and had my longest mileage week since college with Oliver, between running, walking, and hiking. Neither my parents or Oliver planned purposely to be there when Jen wasn’t, but it worked out well for me to always have someone to explore with!
December
December saw Oliver and then myself leave in quick succession: I flew up to meet Jen in Jersey for a long weekend and our 4th and final wedding of 2021 for her NYU friend and her husband, Anjana and Anand. We got some quality time with NYU friends and their SOs who I had heard much about but only met briefly, if at all, and of course some equally quality Indian food.
We spent the next two weeks trying to squeeze in as much Asheville as we could, since Jen had missed most of our 6 week stay. Luckily, there are enough art studios, restaurants, coffee shops, and hikes in the area that I was never bored and rarely went to the same place twice. However, getting to play host again, this time to Jen, allowed me to better appreciate having a favorite spot or two to return to amidst our lives of constant novelty and turnover.
After getting in a month’s worth of eating out, hiking, and exploring (as well as 2 weeks of work) into 2 weeks, we said goodbye and packed up once more for our shortest planned stay: back in Zionsville. I insisted we go home for the holidays – out of our way for just a week – because I’m not sure the next time I’ll be home, and because I felt too rushed the other times. Unfortunately, this time wasn’t much different: end-of-quarter work stress, a ding-ed up car (I had gotten T-boned pulling into my driveway in Asheville), and up-in-the-air logistics about the next drive took much of my time and headspace away from my family. However, I managed to get everything squared away in time to have all of Christmas Eve and Day fully present (get it?), and to push our departure to afternoon on the 26th so we could pack that morning instead of on Christmas.
Our December ended with a 3-day car journey and a taste of the next chapter in Austin, TX. We overnighted in Memphis, then spent an afternoon and night with Jimmy and Mei in a suburb (of a suburb) of Dallas. We finally arrived in Austin just in time to grab Maggie, our favorite tagalong, from the airport and enjoy the four-day holiday weekend doing our favorite mix of hiking, city-walking, eating, and talking about what’s in store for us in the future.
I had been saying from the beginning of our nomadic journey that if we were doing it right, each place we came and went from would be great in its own way, so every transition would be bittersweet. For me, the only departure more bittersweet than the first one leaving San Jose was the last one of 2021 leaving Zionsville. I’m not sure the next time I’ll be back to my legal permanent address, and the closest thing I have to home. But I am sure that wherever I may roam, because of the tremendous support I have flowing to me from back home and across the world (and right next to me), and because of who all those people have made me today, I’ll be okay.
2022
Here we are now, two weeks into 2022, and my first personal deadline for 2 blog posts/month is fast approaching. Our plans for 2022, have us in El Paso in Feb, Prescott AZ in March, Vegas in April, and anyone’s guess from there, though Bay Area, Oregon (Bend?), Washington, and then the great expanse and possibility of the American West are the loose/likely itinerary. I’m going to try to continue writing, hopefully finding ways to interweave my own interesting experiences with what I separately find interesting in the world. My next post will likely be about goals for 2022, and will be much shorter, so I won’t go into that here, but one goal will be to learn how to write conclusions. Okay bye!
Cat tax
Post Script
One of the habits Jen and I had throughout 2021, one we kept surprisingly well, was naming a few things we were grateful for each night before we went to sleep (shout-out to Jack for expanding our horizons from naming 1 to however many came to mind). In that vein, I want to end this post by expressing gratitude for all the people who made 2021 the special and transformative year it was.
First off, I’m grateful for anyone who has made it this far, let alone read this at all. For some reason, I’m only able to write for an audience, so keeping you in mind is the only way the cathartic, therapeutic, and invigorating process of writing this was possible.
I’m grateful for our friends, family, and support network in San Jose. Drew & Lacey, Angie & Spencer, Andrew & Katie, Deb & Harry, Scott & Brady, Jordie & kids: you all made SJ feel like home to us, despite our short and abnormal time there. Leaving you all was the hardest part of leaving SJ, but our relationships over the strange year we were together made us confident we could find a community wherever we ended up next.
I’m grateful for my immediate family and extended Indy family. Mama, Papa, Molly, Nana, Aunt Ann, Uncle Sean, Aunt Ellecia, Conor, Ryan, Dylan, Aunt Caroline, Uncle Terry, Tom, McKenzie, Christie, Aunt Sara, Genny, Michaela, Eamon, Cora, Barry, Emily, and (friends who are like family) Alex. Thank you for making Indianapolis feel like home, even when I’ve been away for too long, and for your patience with little time and attention span I was able to afford everyone. To my parents especially: your support and guidance, throughout my life and now, is why all this is possible.
I’m grateful for the Gibbles for making Jen, Maggie and I at home during our adventures in North Carolina. Uncle Tim and Aunt Susie: I’m sorry your vacation was canceled but I’m so glad to have gotten to spend such a great few weeks together in Holden. Thank you for also lending us your mountain home and visiting us there. You got us out of a bind we had made ourselves by procrastinating planning our next stop, and I know what we gave you barely covered the heating bill. Zach and Jordan: you are phenomenal parents. Say hi to Sage and Avery for us. Eric: it was great to see you in your element, and thanks for your patience with our probably silly questions.
I’m grateful for Jen’s immediate and extended family in New York and New Jersey. Harry, Melanie, Maggie, Tricia, Pat, Deigu, Deigu Cheung, A poa, Fanny & John, Que Pao, grandma from Flushing: thank you for opening your homes and family to me. I was humbled by your hospitality and care and phenomenal cooking. You’ve enriched my life by showing me new ways of being happy and of showing love, and by going through everything that made Jen who she is today. I’m so excited to continue learning Cantonese so I can get to know you better.
Similarly, I’m grateful for Bonice and Jake for helping to make Jen and Maggie who they are today and for welcoming me into your home. Rest in peace.
I’m grateful for the friends along the way who made time to see us in our frantic states. Jack, Tommy, Corbin, Sam, Nick, Andrew, Munn, Foster, Niall, and Uncle Mike: whether it was a 5 hour drive across Utah or a jog to the pier, you all went out of your way to spend a little quality time with an old friend you hadn’t seen in at least a couple years and, in some cases, his girlfriend you had never met (and their cat). These quick visits kept me grounded. It was great to see you.
I’m grateful for those who invited Jen and I to share an important moment in your lives: your wedding. Jay & Aanchal, Elle & Sascha, Claire & Jon, and Anjana & Anand: I am so happy to have been a part of your special day and we will treasure the friendships, new and old, formed and strengthened through having been part of it.
I’m grateful for friends who were Jen’s friends first, for welcoming me into your life with warmth and as my own person. Gemma, Bryce, Elle, Aanchal, Taylor, Halie, Marian, Sanam, Dylan, Damon, Hye Jun, Priyanka, Jewel, Ami, Deeksha, Anjana, Jimmy, Mei, Bernie, Junyi: I am all the more enthusiastic about my relationship with Jen given that she surrounds herself with people like you.
I’m grateful for the long time friends of mine we got to see along the way and how you likewise welcomed Jen. All the friends above who we saw while mid-flight, as well as Oliver, Angela, Saddan, Ryan, Layton & Josh, Claire & Jon, Abby, Maggie.
I’m grateful for the friends made along the way. We met Dan & Sandy in Cedar City, who helped inspire us to travel blog, and I was incredibly warmly received by the Asheville running club, the Asheville tech meetup, and the AVL Hash House Harriers, particularly Terry and Chris, respectively, from the first two, and people who I can’t name in this PG-13 blog from H3. Phil/CwB showed me the simple power of buying a newcomer a drink to show them their presence is welcomed and appreciated.
I’m grateful for those who shared their homes with us: my parents, my Nana, Molly, the Gibbles, the Lus, Tricia, Oliver, Jimmy & Mei, Sanam & Dylan, and Bryce. We came each time with complications, and were met each time with warmth and hospitality.
I’m grateful for those who came to visit us on the journey: my parents, my Nana, Oliver, Bryce, and Maggie. Getting to play host, even in a temporary home, really did make it feel like home.
Finally, I’m tremendously grateful for my partner through it all, Jen. You know how I feel about you, even though I can never say it enough.